Here is an update of my progress on the droid so far. 

Well, it's been years seen I've posted anything about it. Last time should be dating back to my engineer degree. But I was working on it, hiding in the shadows.

The first big constraint was energy. The second one was time.

"The Old Walking Song" by Tolkien Ensemble

10 years in Poland

Ten years ago as a seventeen years old boy with a big bag I came to Poland as a student. First time culturally outside of my own country, full of curiosity and romanticism I walked the street, enjoyed the city landscapes, old parks, technological level of daily life (as paying by card, riding new buses, shopping in huge malls). I've started this blog to keep a contact with people from Belarus, used the new position of solitude to comprehend my heart and mind.
Many things have changed after that period, but there are also those which stay: the choices to grow, to love, to be honest with self. Those three do not allow me to stay in one place, and as it goes in the song

The Road goes ever on and on,
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can!

 
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

 

The Road goes ever on and on,
Out from the door of where it began.
And now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!

 
And let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
Evening-rest and sleep to meet.

 

Is it a new Road or a secret gate?
The day will come at last for me,
When I shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon and East of the Sun.

 

Fake Monk 假行僧 (cover) by Hua Chenyu

I wander from south to north,
I also wander from day to night
I want everyone to notice me but not knowing who I am
If you know that I am tired, please give me a bowl of water
If you have fallen in love with me, please give me a kiss.
I have these feet and legs,
I have traveled from mountains to oceans
I want to have all of everything but not hate and regret
Don’t regret to fall in love with me,
 one day I will leave without a trace
I would not stay in one place, also don’t want to be followed.
Don’t want be followed.
Don’t regret to fall in love with me,
one day I will leave without a trace
 I would not stay in one place, also don’t want to be followed.
I only want to see your beauty, but don’t want to know your suffering.
I want the elixir from the heaven, but not your tears
I wander from south to north,
 I also wander from day to night
I want everyone to notice me but not knowing who I am

I believe that the unity of man as opposed to other living things derives from the fact that man is the conscious life of himself. Man is conscious of himself, of his future, which is death, of his smallness, of his impotence; he is aware of others as others; man is in nature, subject to its laws even if he transcends it with his thought.

I believe that man is the product of natural evolution that is born from the conflict of being a prisoner and separated from nature, and from the need to find unity and harmony with it.

I believe that the nature of man is a contradiction rooted in the conditions of human existence that requires a search for solutions, which in their turn create new contradictions and now the need for answers.

I believe that every answer to these contradictions can really satisfy the condition of helping man to overcome the sense of separation and to achieve a sense of agreement, of unity, and of belonging.

I believe that in every answer to these contradictions, man has the possibility of choosing only between going forward or going back; these choices, which are translated into specific actions, are means toward the regressing or toward the progressing of the humanity that is in us.

"Credo"  by Erich Fromm

"Ressurection" by PPK

"Intro" by Kid Atari

'Deadwood' by Really Slow Motion

Go and find your way
Leave me in your wake
Always push through the pain
And don't run away from change
Never settle, make your mark
Hold your head up, follow your heart
Follow your heart

When the morning comes and takes me
I promise I have taught you everything that you need
In the night you'll dream of so many things
But find the ones that bring you life
And you'll find me
That's where you'll find me

We all get lost sometimes, trying to find what we're looking for

'Fadein/Fadeout' by Nothing More

It wasn’t a finite supply of promiscuity he was draining, it was an ever-replenishing fixation that was eating up his potential for future personal growth.

If all you can do is make snide insinuations then it would probably benefit all concerned if you bestowed the fruits of your prodigious wit on someone with the spare time to give them the consideration they doubtless deserve.

An Outside Context Problem was the sort of thing most civilizations encountered just once, and which they tended to encounter rather in the same way a sentence encountered a full stop.

That was the Dependency Principle; that you could never forget where your Off switches were located, even if it was somewhere tiresome.

'Excession' by Iain Banks 

"Regenzeit" by Field Rotation

The mature response to the problem of existence is love.

Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.

Love isn't something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn't a feeling, it is a practice.

The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one's narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous to one. The opposite pole to narcissism is objectivity; it is the faculty to see other people and things as they are, objectively, and to be able to separate this objective picture from a picture which is formed by one's desires and fears.

Infantile love follows the principle: "I love because I am loved."
Mature love follows the principle: "I am loved because I love."
Immature love says: "I love you because I need you."
Mature love says: "I need you because I love you."

Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love.


Most people are not even aware of their need to conform. They live under the illusion that they follow their own ideas and inclinations, that they are individualists, that they have arrived at their opinion as the result of their own thinking - and that it just happens that their ideas are the same as this of the majority.

"The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm

A backwards march
My back against
Meadows of fear
Where it all began
And there's a hunt
For the seeker who
Had the purest of hearts
Let their spirits be consumed

There's a new world laid at your feet
We built an army from nothing
We raise our children to beat
All this comforting, bounding love

A forward talk
Solely against
Our ways and means
We're not like them (as you)
I'm on a hunt
'Till I find a cure
And before I depart
Into the deepest blue

Behind all insecurity
There is a wall of assurance
She is her own worst enemy
She fights her battles for no one

Let us sing here for a new beginning
You know better now
Water fills her lungs as she is inhaling
You feel better now
Underneath the stars her body sinking
You do better now
A heavy sigh then not a sound

We have no lives
To sacrifice
She raises sin
Dampens the cries
If there's a want
For a something new
You might find me at the start
Or where it ends for you

"t" by iamamiwhoami

We are a society of notoriously unhappy people: lonely, anxious, depressed, destructive, dependent - people who are glad when we have killed the time we are trying so hard to save.

A society whose principles are acquisition, profit, and property produces a social character oriented around having, and once the dominant pattern is established, nobody wants to be an outsider, or indeed an outcast; in order to avoid this risk everybody adapts to the majority, who have in common only their mutual antagonism.

A vast sector of modern advertising... does not appeal to reason but to emotion; like any other kind of hypnoid suggestion, it tries to impress its objects emotionally and then make them submit intellectually.

A person who has not been completely alienated, who has remained sensitive and able to feel, who has not lost the sense of dignity, who is not yet "for sale", who can still suffer over the suffering of others, who has not acquired fully the having mode of existence - briefly, a person who has remained a person and not become a thing - cannot help feeling lonely, powerless, isolated in present-day society. He cannot help doubting himself and his own convictions, if not his sanity. He cannot help suffering, even though he can experience moments of joy and clarity that are absent in the life of his "normal" contemporaries. Not rarely will he suffer from neurosis that results from the situation of a sane man living in an insane society, rather than that of the more conventional neurosis of a sick man trying to adapt himself to a sick society. In the process of going further in his analysis, i.e. of growing to greater independence and productivity,his neurotic symptoms will cure themselves. 

"To have or to be" by Erich Fromm

"Old Souls" by Hans Zimmer

In my mind
In my head
This is where
We all came from
The dreams we have
The love we share
This is what
We're waiting for
That is where
We all from

'In my mind' by Dynoro

'Square Hammer' by Ghost

Living in the night
'Neath devils torn asunder
You call on me
To solve a crooked rhyme
As I'm closing in
Imposing on your slumber
You call on me
As bells begin to chime

Hiding from the light
Sacrificing nothing
Still you call on me
For entrance to the shrine
Hammering the nails
Into a sacred coffin
You call on me
For powers clandestine

"You can be happy" by IAMX

You walked into the world
As a super human boy and girl, oh
And the blinking of your eyes
I was born and sold by your manifesto

It's a cruel world for small things
But with the lies and luxuries
And the in-between you can be happy

You put me in a cage
And a daily maze of flesh and rage, oh
But I will follow every truth
I won't let you go, I want every tomorrow

And now I am afraid
You will blossom soon and grow and change
There is so much I can't take
But I will understand, I will open my hand

(Fight, fight)
There's an open window
(Fight, fight)
And I can go through

(Fight, fight)
To the life of others
(Fight, fight)
There's nothing I can't find

(Fight, fight)
There's an open window
(You can be happy)

(Fight, fight)
And I can go through
(You can be happy)

(Fight, fight)
To the life of others
(You can be happy)

Cindy Gomez & Stuart Chatwood - Time Only Knows

Time, alone we bide our time

Never will we know if our love is true

At night, I sleep and dream of you

Only to awake in my empty room

You give me power

You give me reason

So, will you love me?

Time only knows, time only knows

'Castle of Glass' by Linkin Park

Take me down to the river bend
Take me down to the fighting end
Wash the poison from off my skin
Show me how to be whole again

Fly me up on a silver wing
Past the black where the sirens sing
Warm me up in a nova's glow
And drop me down to the dream below

Bring me home in a blinding dream,
Through the secrets that I have seen
Wash the sorrow from off my skin
And show me how to be whole again

'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass
Hardly anything there for you to see
For you to see

Candle

Sweet little sun,

Swinging in the dark,

Smiling with a fun,

Stroke me by a spark.

The spark of tree of life,

Of cozy warm,

Came to me without strife

To call it home.

I want to be

(To use it by name)

A will of the wisp

To kindle your flame.

For Xiao Fan

'Pinky's Dream' by David Lynch

Please Pinky will you watch the road
Please Pinky watch the road

Pinky's Dodge
Going fast away
Purple, going up away
Orange, blown away
Pinky's dream, glowing away

Pinky
What do you see?
Flying down the road
Pinky
Tell me
Are you laughing, or are you crying?
Watch the road
Please Pinky watch the road

"Voodoo People" by The Prodigy

'Forced Vision' by Saltillo

Or are you both?
And what do you lust after?
How can such a thing as lust even be?
When it is provable that you are nothing but a temporary agglomeration of atoms.
Wavelengths of energy as it were.
Through this moment as this form but not for long.
And is not even fully present in this form.
For do you not think?
And in thinking, do you not think of places?
Am I then to think these places of which you think are thought in your head or are they in your head?
Or are they somewhere else?
In thinking of them, do you see them?
In the seeing of them are they real?
If they are not real, will you then say that what you see before you now is more or less real therefore you only know them by seeing. Is that not so? Yes, I thought as much.

Because I would submit to you my friend, that you are surrounded by allegory.
That all of this is allegory.
All of it...
All of it...
This is allegory.
This flesh...

"Hjernen Er Alene" by Seigmen

It's in the middle of the day

I'm alone in the house

I'm standing in the living-room

I'm alone in the house

I stare out of the window

I stare down at the sea

Suddenly I get scared

I see the ocean coming closer

The brain is alone

I want to get away

But i don't dare to go out

I don't want to look

But i don't dare not to

I whisper help

Though I know that no one will hear me