This feeling, when you understand that you are still in the valley of death. It's like moment of clarity, that you had had an illusion that you were through, but not yet in reality. And you begun to see a demons, which attacked you, and begun to understand why He is so close all this time.

After anger comes the demon of fear. Unknown fear, coming from your bones, freezing you from the inside, paralyzing all your being. You cannot fight it, you cannot get it out. There is no purpose to be afraid, but you just are. All that those demons wants from you is to fight back, because in moment you start fight them, you are going from Lord's protection.

But He is still here, behind me, and telling not to take attention to this, just keep going. My soul looks like battlefield, where best what I can do, is snuggle to His loving hand.